Best Kidnapping Ever
by foxfire222
Summary: Stiles is taken by hunters, but all is well. He really doesn't mind this form of torture. Mentions of Sterek and lots of cookies. Just a fun little thing I thought of. Rated for mentions of drug use


Derek was really sick of people thinking they could take Stiles away from them. It had all started with Gerard, moved on to a witch a few months ago, and now more hunters had taken Stiles thinking they could get information from him. Little did they know he was as loyal as any Beta wolf, never turning on his pack. But they had had him for two days now and everyone was fearing the worst. Luckily the amateur hunters who had captured Stiles had tried to get Argent in on the whole thing and they now knew where they were hiding.

They had burst into the abandoned canning plant and quickly disabled the three hunters. And then the search was on for Stiles. Derek fond him first, in the very back of the facility. He was tied to a chair by his wrists and ankles and had his head on his chest, apparently passed out or asleep or maybe even dead for all Derek knew. He regained control of his mind, pushing the panic aside, and listened. He let out a huge sigh of relief when he heard an at rest heart beat and quickly ran over to Stiles, trying to wake him. He was a little confused as to why Stiles wasn't injured, surely the hunters had at least tried to get some information out of the kid.

His unasked questions were answered as soon as Stiles opened his eyes, took one look at Derek, and smiled wider then Derek had ever seen, "Heeey Sour Wolf. Did you come to join the party?"

Stiles pupils were very dilated and his words were slurred, "Stiles, are you high right now?"

"Probably." he let out a loud laugh, "These guys, nice guys really. At first, I didn't like them cause they hit my head and tied me up. But then they brought in this vaporizer thing." he motioned with is finger at something to the side

Derek turned and recognized it instantly. The last time he had seen something like that, Mrs. Argent had tried to kill Scott. But as he sniffed the air he realized it smelled like nothing but pot in the entire room, "Have you been high this whole time?"

"Pretty sure, yeah. And they brought me chocolate Derek, chocolate. The kind with nuts and stuff. And a sandwich from that shop I like on Maine to. Oh, it was great. They had tons of questions about you to."

"Stiles, did you tell them anything?" Derek was panicked now. Sure, the hunters had been dealt with, but they might have contacted others

"Yeah, tons, all lies though." he giggled, "Stupid idiots. Just cause I'm high as a kite doesn't make me as dumb as a stump." he giggled again, and it turned into maniacal laughter, "Man, stump. Only stump I know has creepy magical powers. That would be cool." he looked at Derek as the wolf started to untie him, "Hey, do you think I would be a good Mage? I could pull that off right? Be the healer, like in World of Warcraft or something."

"Stiles, just shut up." Derek sighed

"Hey, that's what those guys said to after I told them you didn't like raisins." Stiles suddenly looked at Derek seriously, "Is what I said true? Do you hate raisins because they look like old grape people?"

"Oh my god." Derek sighed again as he hoisted Stiles over his shoulder

"Whoa, watch it Derek." Stiles shouted in protest. Then he stopped struggling and that made Derek even more nervous, but he ignored it to meet up with the others.

When he got to the main room Isaac perked up first, "What smells like pot?'

Before Derek could answer Scott noticed that his best friend wasn't moving, "Is he alright? Is Stiles alright?"

"I'm good buddy, just enjoying the view. Did you know Derek's ass is tight enough to bounce quarters off?" this shocking statement was backed up by the sound of Stiles slapping Derek's ass, "Damn, that is fine."

Derek jumped and dropped Stiles to the floor instantly, "Hey, just cause your high doesn't mean I wont' rip you apart."

"You sound so sexy when you talk like that." Stiles practically purred from the floor before falling once more into a fit of giggles

"Is that smell coming from him?" Isaac asked with interest as he tried to fight down a laugh

"Yeah, they drugged him up the whole time. Who knows how much he's been exposed to." Derek said before glaring at the still giggling boy, "But that doesn't mean he gets to slap my ass."

"But it was just there in front of me." Stiles argued, suddenly serious, "What was I supposed to do with it?"

"Anything but that." Derek retorted with a growl

Scott was now by his friends side, "Stiles, are you sure your alright?"

"Yeah, I'm great." Stiles said, his hand coming up to pet Scott on the head like a dog, "Good dog, coming to find me. Your the Lassie to my Timmy."

"Oh he is so baked." Isaac said with a slight cackle

"Baked?" Stiles sounded very confused before brightening up and sitting bold upright, "We should make cookies."

At this point Isaac lost control and had to sit down because he was laughing so hard. Derek was growling and Scott just looked worried, "We can't take him home like this, his dad would blow a gasket."

Chris Argent came forward then, a slight smile on his lips, "Stiles, would you like to come to my house and make cookies?"

Stiles was instantly at Chris's side, clinging to the man's arm, "Oh, that is a great idea."

A few hours later everyone watched Stiles as he laid, passed out cold, on the couch in the Argent apartment. He was surrounded by cookie crumbs and had an empty plate still clutched tightly in his fingers. Derek was bemused, "How many did he eat again?"

Chris chuckled, "About twenty I think. Kid can really pack it away."

As the older Argent turned to walked to the kitchen to clean up the mess that had been made his daughter asked, "Dad, how did you know how to control him like that?"

Chris chuckled again and said, "Sweetheart, I did go to college." and left the room


End file.
